Category Archives: Lesbian Identities

Where are all the butch vloggers?

Femme lesbian couples on YouTube seem to be incredibly popular, they feature in lesbian magazines and can be found all over my twitter stream! I can think of at least 9 femme couples that pop up regularly on my twitter.

All of this got me thinking, where are all the butch couples and why aren’t they on YouTube? How come femmes are willing to post vlogs and tweet yet I haven’t seen a single butch couple or any other couple come to think of it? I follow a variety of accounts, surely someone would have retweeted something?! Am I looking in the wrong places? I mean that is a possibility…

I have no answers, only questions to this observation. Even as a femme (albeit a very scruffy looking one) I think social media seems to be swarmed with femme couples and I’d like to see more variety, butch & butch, butch & femme, soft butch & boi…

I would love to know if anyone knows of other lesbian couples who vlog?


this girl



Lesbian Identities – Part 3

So here are the rest of the identities from the article “What’s In a Name? A Quick Glossary of lesbian Labels”:

Lipstick Lesbian: She loves “girly” stuff like make-up and fashion, but fancies women as much as the next lesbian. AKA Femme or Fem.

Butch: She adopts traditionally masculine traits.

Stone Butch: She gets her kicks from really pleasing her partner, even though she doesn’t want to be touched or fondled. She does not like to be touched sexually.

Soft Butch: She’s butch in manner and style but softer and more feminine at the same time.

Pillow Queen: She tends to prefer receiving rather than giving sexual favours.

Boi: She’s biologically female, though boyish in mien and appearance.

Stem: Somewhere between “stud” and “femme”.

Kiki: Neither butch nor femme, this girl defines herself as something else. Originated from 1950s US bar culture. AKA Futch.

Stud: She’s dominant and often Afro-American.

There you have it the rest of the identities. When I first read this article I wondered if lesbians really identified with them? I mean I’ve always been aware of Butch and Femme because women openly identify as them but I’ve never heard of Pillow Queens and Stone Butch’s but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist!

Would a lesbian openly identify as a Pillow Queen? It may just be me but it sounds quite negative but then again if a Pillow Queen met a Stone Butch they would be perfect together! (Sorry thinking out loud here haa)

Also I’d like to add that Linuxgal commented on my last post about an identity that isn’t covered here – Femmer: The more feminine of a pair of lipstick lesbians, as in “Femme and Femmer” – So thank you for this!

I’m sure there will be more identities that have been missed so please leave a comment and I will update or include them in another post!

As for me if I had to pick I would be a Blue Jeans Femme though I can be found wearing black and grey jeans. 😉


this girl


Lesbian Identities – Part 2

I’ve been meaning to write this post for ages now but finding the time to do it has been such a challenge! So what finally made me get my ass in gear?

During one of my lunch breaks I was killing time on a website called Kitschmix, this has turned in to a regular occurrence as there is nothing to do where I work and I just love the site!

On one of my breaks I came across an article titled “What’s In a Name? A Quick Glossary of lesbian Labels”– I mean look at the title it has everything I was looking for! Naturally I read it and it pushed me to write this post.

Below are some of the definitions in all their glory (the rest will be in another blog post because I don’t want to make this post mega long!)

Dyke: A term that is typically only used by LGBT people. Some may be offended by a straight person using this term.

Power Dyke: A lesbian who has attained social status, either within the gay community, or in the wider world. AKA Suit or Power Lesbian.

Diesel Dyke: An aggressive butch. AKA Bulldagger.

Sport Dyke: A sport-loving lesbian who might wear baseball caps and running kit.

Baby Dyke: A young lesbian who might just be coming out of the closet. AKA Dyke-in-Training.

Blue Jeans Femme: She identifies as femme, or feminine, but tends to put on jeans and casual wear.

Chapstick Lesbian: She dresses down and eschews make-up. Coined by lesbian TV star Ellen DeGeneres. AKA soft butch or androgynous.

Lone Star Lesbian: She’s only slept with one person in their life.

Gold Star Lesbian: She’s never had nor ever will have sex with a man.

To be continued… I’ll share my thoughts on the next post 🙂


this girl


Lesbian Identities – Where do I fit?

I wouldn’t say I’m a “new” lesbian I’ve had a girlfriend for two years now but my all my past relationships have been with men (after I realised I only had straight sex drunk things changed!) I think this is why lesbian culture intrigues me so much. All my friends are straight so I guess I feel like a girl looking through a window to an exciting lesbian room of wonder wanting ever so much to know more!

One day when I was reading through a lesbian magazine I noticed all these different terms like edgy femme and butch, my first thought was…

“What do they mean?! What’s an edgy femme, does it mean she’s constantly irritable and tense?”

… my second thought was “Where do I fit in this?” I mean I admit sometimes I am irritable (especially in the morning before my latte). Does this mean I’m an edgy femme in the morning and just a femme in the afternoon? I know I need help!

After this confusion I’ve decided to research the different lesbian identities, depending how well my research goes I’ll cover it across a few posts and I may even include my bad sketches to entertain you :).

If anyone has any pointers on where to look or any good blogs which cover the topic please leave a comment! Also please leave a comment and let me know what you identify as or if you think these identities are important in lesbian culture? You’ll be educating one pretty clueless girl!


this girl